How’s life? Mmhmm…mhmm….That’s what I like to hear. Me, you ask? I’m just dandy! Thank you for caring. Just spending the weekend with 24,000 other people in the San Diego Convention Center. Good thing it’s been a blast. I mean who doesn’t love people pushing you into the wall to grab seats, and mean security guards who think they’re all that and a bag of haribo gummy bears with their electric yellow vests. Well, once you get inside in your cozy seat, everything is fine, but after the doors first open…you better be prepared.
That is why this post is an essential for concerts, conventions, and life in general. This is How to Save Seats Without Getting Knocked Out, Kicked Out, or (Overly) Worn Out.
1. Know where you’re going.
* When seats aren’t assigned, know where you’re going to meet up with yo’ h0m!3z. This is when it starts to get crazy.2. When you see a row with enough seats move in.
* Even if someone is standing there, pretend your big money and politely tell them to move in an intricate way. Try to work in broken down cars, kittens in trees, feeding orphans, ginger snaps, butterfly kisses, and flash mobs if possible.
3. If they don’t move tell them again,
* More Obnoxiously.
4. If they still don’t move start unpacking your bag onto the seats.
* Booty bump them as you pass behind them.
5. If they get in your face, scream for security.
* They’ll be so scared and probably run away.
6. Start singing to them.
* You’re angel voice will soothe them potentially and they’ll gladly skip away humming out of delight.
7. Pretend you’re going to throw up on them so they’ll run away.
* Full proof…unless they are a kind soul looking to help you or something.
8. Lay down on the seats…
♥ I don’t really recommend this one…TRUE STORY,
My mom in an attempt to make a point to someone who was snooping around our section, began planking on the row (okay, okay she wasn’t laying down completely…). Pretty soon security comes up to her, taps her on the shoulder and says “Excuse me, ma’am, do you need medical assistance?” That was not a good moment. Keep this in mind whenever you are about to enter an arena or stadium, but remember, every now and then, some people just need to be slapped.
Love.
unfortunately, i believe the term is fool proof....
ReplyDelete